Nasza-Beczka

Może i niezłe znalazłeś na necie, ale nie byłeś na tyle bystry żeby wrzucić je do działu który JUŻ jest na to przeznaczony, czyli do Syfu. Wychodzi na to że jedyną inicjatywą wykazał się tu internet. Net 1 - Pierdzący 0. Panie Drozda, idź pan w chuj z takim modem!

Nu nu nu! Tylko ta żałoba cię ratuje...

3 dogs, a Doberman, a Boxer and a Labrador are sitting in a vets office and strike up a conversation.

The Doberman turns to the Boxer and asks, what are you here for?

"I'm a pisser", "I piss on everything", the sofa, the cat, the kid but the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owners bed.

So, what is the vet gonna do? the Doberman asks. "Lethal injection" came the sad reply from the Boxer.

The Doberman turns to the Lab and asked the same question.

"I'm a digger", I dig under fences, I dig up flowers and trees. I dig for the hell of it. When inside I even dig up the carpets, but I went over the limit when I dug a hole in the middle of the owner's couch.

So, what they gonna go to you? "Lethal injection," replied the Dejected Lab.

The Lab asked the Doberman why he was there.

"I'm a humper. I'll hump anything, I'll hump the cat, pillows, the table, fire hydrants. Whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just gotten out of the shower and bent down to dry her toes and I couldn't help myself and hopped on her back and started humping away.

The Boxer and Lab exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, lethal injection for you too, huh?"

No, No, the Doberman said. "I'm here to get my nails clipped."

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A girl is in sunday school, taking a nap, when the teacher asks, "Who is our lord and savior?" and at the exact same moment, someone pokes the girl with a pin, and she jumps up and says, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulates her, and then the girl goes back to sleep. The teacher asks, "Who created us?". Someone pokes the girl again, and she says, "Good God!". The teacher again congratulates her, and she goes back to sleep. The teacher then asks, "What did Eve say after her 21st child?". Again, the girl is poked, to which she yells, "If you stick that thing in me ONE more time, I'm gonna break it in half!"

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A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees.

“I don’t want to know!” the child says, bursting into tears. “Promise me you won’t tell me!”

Confused, the father asks what’s wrong.

“Oh, dad,” the boy sobs. “When I was six, I got the ‘There’s no Santa’ speech. At seven, I got the ‘There’s no Easter Bunny’ speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the ‘There’s no tooth fairy’ speech. If you’re going to tell me that adults don’t really fuck, I’ll have nothing left to live for.”

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As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations. Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happend that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite. To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to the Russian game of roulette. He produced an antique Soviet revolver, and a single bullet. It took a while, but he was finally able to explain the gist of the game to Umballa. Intrigued and excited, Umballa loved the game. By the time the U.N. meeting was over, the two had become fast friends. As they parted company at the airport, Umballa told Vladimir, ''One day, you must visit my country, and try our version of your roulette.'' A year later, Vladimir was in Zambia, and looked up his old friend. Umballa remembered him, and welcomed him with open arms. ''I have come, my comrade, to try your game.'' ''Very well. Come with me.'' Umballa took his friend before six, buck-naked bush women. ''Pick one. Any one. And she will give you a blowjob.'' ''But my friend, where is the danger in this?'' Umballa replied with a toothy smile, ''One of them is a cannibal.''

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A man is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A beautiful young nurse arrives to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the oxygen mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don’t know, I’m only here to wash your hands and feet."

Struggling, he again asks the nurse, "Are my testicles black?" Finally, she raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand, holds his testicles in the other, takes a close look, and says, "There’s nothing wrong with them!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies, "That was very nice, but, are my test results back."

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A guy walking down the street sees a woman with spectacular breasts and offers her $100 to let him bite them.

“Are you nuts?” she scoffs.

“What about for $1,000?” he asks.

“Listen, you sick pig,” she says. “I’m not that kind of woman.”

“You wouldn’t even do it for $10,000?” the man asks hopefully.

“You’ll pay me $10,000 to bite my breasts?” she asks. “OK, let’s go over to that dark alley.”

Once there she takes off her blouse, and the guy begins caressing her breasts, kissing them, and fondling them.

“Hey, are you gonna bite them or what?” she huffs.

“Nah,” he shrugs. “Too expensive.”

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